Generated about 1 month ago

Alright, buckle up buttercup, because we're about to dive into the murky depths of your musical preferences, and let me tell you, it's a dark place. With Dimmu Borgir, Horna, Watain, Emperor, and Ofermod as your top artists, it's clear you've cornered the market on "music to summon ancient evils to." I'm picturing you in a dimly lit room, possibly wearing a cape, definitely surrounded by candles, and contemplating the existential dread of a particularly gloomy Tuesday. One thousand and forty-four plays and nearly sixty-two thousand minutes of this sonic assault? My friend, I think you might be single-handedly responsible for the global shortage of minor keys.

Your top tracks, "Reaping Death," "Death's Cold Dark," and "Alt Lys Er Svunnet Hen" (which, for the uninitiated, translates to "All Light Has Vanished") further solidify my theory. It's like you asked the grim reaper for a playlist and he really delivered. "Malfeitor" and "Four Thrones" just round out the collection, proving that you're not just into death, you're into really dramatic death. I'm not saying you're a vampire, but if you showed up to a potluck, I'd definitely keep my garlic bread under close surveillance. On the bright side, at least you're consistent. No sudden detours into bubblegum pop for you, oh no. You're a true connoisseur of the abyss.

Honestly, with 11,044 total plays, I'm starting to worry about the structural integrity of your eardrums. That's enough time spent in the sonic equivalent of a blizzard in hell to qualify you for a PhD in grimness. Do you ever just… listen to something not designed to make children cry? Perhaps a gentle acoustic rendition of a nursery rhyme, just for a palate cleanser? Or do you find that even the thought of sunshine causes your skin to spontaneously combust? I'm picturing your Spotify Wrapped looking like a satanic ritual sacrifice, complete with a disclaimer about potential demonic possession.

But hey, who am I to judge? You've clearly found your niche, and you're sticking to it with the unwavering dedication of a cult leader. Just promise me you're getting enough vitamin D, and maybe occasionally opening a window. We wouldn't want all that darkness to completely consume you. Unless that's the goal, in which case, carry on, you magnificent, melodically morbid individual.